I almost made a comment that totally would have outed me today.
I guess if I'm going to tell this story then I should first say that there are 3 bisexual girls in my classes. Everyone knows they are into girls as well, and... well, nobody cares. (So basically I'm not sure why I'm still so scared.)
Anyway, a few of us were sitting in the computer lab earlier today, and one of the girls was talking about how she could always point out all the guys that were gay when she was in high school, and that when they came out later in college, she was like 'it's about time.' To which I desperately wanted to respond with one of two comments:
"So, what about me? Am I gay?"
or
"So, can you tell that I am gay then?"
I almost did it. It was at the tip of my tongue. But I held back. I'm not sure why... it was a good opportunity to just do it and get it over with. *sigh* oh well. I might talk to her later when I'm more comfortable. I'm just not sure how these girls can be so comfortable with the idea of being attracted to the same sex. They talk about how they had crushes on certain girls in high school, and I'm just like... o_O thanks for sharing I guess...
But even if I did manage to come out at school, doing so to my family would be COMPLETELY different. I'm not sure that I can....
10 comments:
School is easier I believe because of the younger generation, and like you say, if there are three bi girls in your class, then its obvious people don't care. One of the best moments of my coming out was doing it after class to a lesbian and a gay guy I only knew casually. Needless to say, we became good friends after that. Although, I do know how you are feeling when its kinda weird when strangers are about you...
And family, you got that right, lol.
Maybe the girls suspect that you might be gay, and were trying to draw you out. Just a thought...
Awww. Well, probably a good idea to talk to them individually and see if they really know, haha.
I think society is just more comfortable with women having more "fluid" sexualities. I'm not too sure why though, it's kind of like a double-standard. :-/
I think it's easier to come out to other gay guys, or to straight girls. You're not really preaching to the choir with gay girls, so there's a certain disconnect there. I found that my lesbian friends became critical to the process of coming out once I had already started it. It was then I didn't need to tell people so much as I needed support in telling the people I was scared to tell. Idk, my personal opinion.
I understand that coming out to family is very different from coming out to schoolmates. Strangely enough, because of circumstances in my life, I came out to my parents and older brother — although it was with the understanding that I did not intend to be sexually active. Many years later I came out to a couple of work colleagues. But I have not come out to anybody for about 15 years except online, and now I've met four of those online people irl.
So even though it should be easier with acquaintances, in my case it hasn't been.
I think it's a question of who you're comfortable being out to, and who you have no choice with.
Well, my personal opinion is that lesbians and bi girls are not so judged as gay and bi boys... Well, at least I get that kind of impression. It looks like girl's homosexuality is not so bad as guys'...
Compare this with the fact that man hooking up with a lot of girls are "cool" and "macho", while girls who hook up with a lot of boys are sluts... Gender discrimination... In gay world, it's maybe opposite... :D Gay guys are judged more than girls, cause the lesbians are maybe every straight man fantasy :)))
I imagine that there will be a day when you will think "oh, how could I believe that I being gay was anyone business except mine?". It's kind of a process. Find someone you trust and, well... trust. It doesn't need to be someone who is also gay, just a person that you trust enough to tell the truth and that you think will not be a jerk about it.
There are nice people out there :o)
It's easy to think after the event "I wish I had said xxxx"
Dont fret it!
I'm an old homosexual guy (I hate that fuckin 'gay' word!)and like to comment on some of the young gay blogs out there and lend some support. Being in the closet sucks (I bitterly know what that is like!); it means you have to deceive girls and it is stressful. I do not advise coming out unless you have a circle of homosexual friends for support and your parents have liberal views. If your parents are big C conservatives or religious fundamentalists, it is best to wait until your education is complete and you are out on your own. Make sure anyone you confide in is discrete. No young homosexual should have to go through this crap. Good luck.
Jeremy
Hugs man i know this is very hard but i do hope you can in your own time and means come out and be accepted.
If yo get to my age and havent it can just be to much believe me
tae care and be safe and good luck my friend
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